You know you’ve had a rough week when your home care nurse runs her Honda into the side of your house (luckily for you, she missed me by a couple cluttered rooms)
or your favorite ex-Kardashian star is recovering from too much penile performance drugs. So where should one turn to in order to take back some control? One turns to the healing art of MEMING (or MEMEING?). Somehow, I was like many of you out there, recycling the same old Grumpy Cat memes, totally oblivious to taking creative power into my own hands. But a scary thing happened on the way to my smartphone yesterday: I MEMED UP.
Though I was tempted to upload my own photos of ex-boyfriends or strange animals (same difference) to meme, I wanted a real challenge. I would only use the generic photos my “free” meme app would throw at me.
Here are the 20 rookie memes (in no particular ranking order) I came up with in less than 2 hours to get Lamar up and “functioning” again. Feel free to pick and recycle the worst of them. Leave a comment as to your favorites.
NOTE: If any of these memes happen to look or sound like any other previous memes floating on the internet, it is by sheer bad luck on their part (aka “coincidence”).
1) Evolution will mutate the Kardashians down to an annoying form of foot fungus.
2) Cancer cells will be used to fuel spaceships.
3) The Rolling Clones will be taking their tour to a planet near you.
4) Laser bathing spas will overpopulate the planet Venus.
5) The United States swears in its 91st robot as president, but stays lukewarm to the idea of electing a female.
6) The Pacific Ocean will be sold by the gallon to make room for more real estate.
7) New York City gets revamped as New Warped City, still overcharging for castles built in the air.
8) The planet Oprah will eclipse the sun for a day in honor of Black History Month.
9) Breathing will run off megabytes.
10) The 122nd Amendment to the United States of America’s Bill of Rights will be ratified ensuring the right to marry your cloned self.
11) Crematories will cease to exist with the sun being readily available (NOTE: valid permit required during regular business hours 24-7).
12) Gummy bears will still taste awesome.
13) Holographic Visas will be required to cross the ozone layer.
14) Mind farts will be used in combat to create time warping worm holes.
15) Yoda, the Jedi Master, writes and publishes “The Force for Dummies” becoming a bestselling book.