Predictions for the Year 3000

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I’d rather go to hell kissing a man than go to heaven thinking about it. That pretty much tells you what I will be doing in the far off future. As to what others might be doing, I decided to do a second installment of Predictions for the Year 3000 (For past installments, search blog archives October 2012). This is assuming existence, as we know it, is still truckin’ around. But by that time ( Unless you’re Michael Jackson whose gona be set on defrost in some future year) most likely you won’t be around to care. So here are my further Predictions for the Year 3000. Remember, you heard them here first.

1) The U.S. Pentagon will expand into the Octagon.

2) Fat will be extinct, but stupidity won’t.

3) Chewing gum will finally come in liquor flavors.

4) Your dreams at night will be televised as the new reality TV show.

5) Hours will be replaced with “warp speed” (known as “WSp”) in measuring all time, except when Congress is in session.

6) DNA will be sold in vending machines.

7) New York and San Francisco will be underwater playgrounds for ‘menmaids’ to frolic ( one of several new species branched off of the gay community).

8) Humans will evolve into four-fingered beings due to overuse of middle finger while flipping the bird.

9) Vegans will begin to eat themselves in order to save the planet.

10) Thanks to cloning technology, George Clooney will date himself.

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