If you have ever wondered what Oprah, Bill Gates, and members of OPEC do on their down time (which is basically all the time), you might be surprised. Usually its some of the most boring things like jumping on a trampoline with their kids (Bill Gates) or take a trip to Africa to see girls that like to run around without shoes (Oprah). And just when you thought OPEC might do something with all that money they make off the whole universe, you find out they only like to play golf (esp. with the Bush family) and terrorize the world. Rich people nowadays don’t know how to be rich. Let me teach the ways.
The following is my list of top Ten Possible Hobbies for the Filthy Rich.
- Cave Painting: Buy your own cave. Get personal instructors to teach you how its done.
- Diamond Sculpting: Diamond cutter will instruct you on how you too can sculpt a rose out of a 200 karat diamond for your mistress.
- Airbag Bumper Car Driving: Buy a Rolls Royce and a Ferrari. Drive into one another and see which has a faster airbag reaction time.
- Vending Machine Boxing: Contents inside up to boxer, but may I suggest: Ipads, M&Ms, and rubber Angry Bird erasers. Go against an opponent. One that makes most vending machine money expel wins.
- Real Estate Tic Tac Toe: Two opponents purchase real estate within a certain region. One to buy three closest plots in location wins his opponents purchases.
- Satellite Remote Photography: Own your own satellite probing deep in space. Photograph the Earth, the Sun, Saturn’s rings light years away, or even Donald Trump’s backyard.
- Aerobatic Calligraphy: Lessons in private planes with personal instructors to teach you how to leave you mark over the world, literally. Freak out grounded spectators with phrases like “Surrender Dorothy” or “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Rich”.
- Yacht Sinking: Purchase several boats. Become our own modern day pirate and sink boats from the comfort of your yacht’s missile launching pad. Get to feel like a U.S. President or Latin American Dictator.
- Gold Thread Knitting: Crochet a scarf or a sweater worth a million dollars for your pet Chihuahua.
- Mountain Carving: Take possession of a limestone mountain. Hire laborers/sculptors. Design reliefs with sayings such as:
“GO GREEN”, ” MT. RUSHMORE ONLY WISHES”, or “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE”, with your sculpted likeness (Airbrushed of course).
So there you have it. You better hope I don’t play the SuperLotto anytime soon!