Who wants to travel all the way to France for wine aged by women with armpit hair? Come to El Cajon, California and you’ll find meth, cheap motels, and muscle cars galore! These and ten more reasons are why you should book your first class ticket to what Trip Advisor calls “The City to End All Cities”. NOTE: click on pics to enlarge.
1) Motels with Free Condoms: Find them under the bed, already pre-lubricated with someone’s unique, special sauce for your horniest convenience.
2)Wednesday Night Classic Cruise Car Show: Bring Grandma! Hands down, the best damn place to locate that stolen GTO you had always been wondering about.
3) Home of Unarius Academy of Science: Become a certified space cadet, literally. Believe in aliens and spaceships. Better yet, believe they are going to beam you up Scottie. Nanu Nanu!
4) NO BEACH CROWD: This also means no beach, no hot lifeguards, no resorts, no surfing, no sandcastles, no girls in bikinis, and no sand up the butt. Its the perfect place for anyone wanting to hide away and escape that terrible heartache that is celebrity life (Hint Hint Prince Harry…look me up).
5) Hell’s Angels DAGO Chapter Clubhouse: Come see where you can buy a gun, a woman, a hit man, a hit of coke, or a beer with blood and sweat in it.
6) The Redneck Notre Dame: Come see what Jesus would have intended you to see if idiots didn’t nail him to driftwood.
7) Hiram’s Guns/ Nick’s Liquor: A long standing wild west institution amongst rednecks, ex-cons, pimps, vatos, paranoid senior-citizens, and trigger-happy N.R.A.ers alike elegantly situated next to the best stocked liquor store in town. Surprisingly, the least held up store in California!
8) Free Hot Tubs for the Homeless: Well, Almost.
9) Your Choice Car Dealership: Forgot whose choice it was to get that new Chevy? Come to El Cajon and we take the thinking out of car shopping.
10) ME, ME, ME! : No, I’m not singing. I’m here to let you know I will be waiting for you, sleeping bag, 40 ouncer, and all!