The Extreme Sport of Sabotaging Pinterest

It all started as a revenge tactic; A grade “F” feeble one because, I have the computer hacking skills of a goldfish. Nevertheless, it was my attempt to strike back at all the sugar coating and spoon feeding that goes on via the world wide web today. After reading how bad my U.S. Government wants to shut down whistleblowers like WikiLeaks and how censored the internet has become, I took aim. Nevermind it was a site that has as much connection to secret government files as I have ties to Queen Elizabeth of the UK. My strategy to tackify Pinterest began as an experiment in freedom of speech.

First, I posted a picture of a dog in sunglasses and g-string spread out on a couch a la porn star style. It generated zero feedback.

Next was the picture of a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich with looked like it had been used as a doormat. Again, no repins.

Finally, the Wal-Mart bargain brand can of tuna in a photo with the caption “Caviar for Red Necks”. No objections nor repins.

What else did I need to do to get Pinteresters offended? How else could I saturate the site with tackiness? Post a picture of my face once every day and title it “Pinterest Goddess”. It didn’t help that my photos had to go through what I call a “pixie dust” filter  (like all other Pinterest pins) which makes the most mundane of objects, like the average paperclip, look magical. If people do this on pointless popular websites, what do you think is being done to the average web news source site? This is what the internet has become.

But there might be other things going on with me. I don’t exactly know the Freudian reasoning behind this urge to tackify the slop-glossy web pages of Pinterest and not another website. Could it be because:

  • I’m as fashionable as lint on toast.
  • I suck at thinking up how to upcycle toilet paper rolls.
  • I don’t want to bake because I don’t want to be arrested for arson.
  • They haven’t posted anything on redecorating the inside of a tent (my home sweet home).
  • I get “cutesy” and “sophisticated” overload viewing Pinterest pins to the point I almost puke glitter and shit unicorns as pink as cotton candy.

But, I’m not all hater. There are days I enjoy scrolling through all the stuff in the world I will never own nor obtain (Like you, Brazilian leather hand clutch with zipper trim…or you, apple crepes a la flambe). Days such as days that end in “days” to avoid the dentist. Or Sundays to avoid church. Or Monday mornings when I try to get myself motivated to hunt for jobs. There is something about looking at fufu clothes and Swedish couches that require you to mortgage your house that inspires you to seek a job. Too bad it doesn’t inspire the average Pinterester to think.

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One response

  1. What a great topic to write on….You crack me up…

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